I miss my mum every single day, but there are days that I miss her more than usual. Days like today. Those are sucky, feeling weepy days. And they’re usually triggered by simple things, like seeing someone having a walk with their mother, or reading someone’s blog about what their mother did that makes them happy. Stuff like that.
I miss talking with my mum. I miss telling her silly stuff. I miss making her laugh. I miss the random little things she used to do to make me happy. I miss watching her tending the flowery plants just outside my bedroom window. I miss her knocking my window and making a funny face when I looked. I miss taking a nap on her bed while she was busy sewing next to me. I miss her tickling me to see if I was really asleep. I miss making fun of her while she was watching a Bollywood movie or a soap opera or a telenovella on TV. I miss watching her doing overly-dramatic impressions of telenovella characters. I miss her laughter. I miss her smile. I miss her singing. I miss her holding my hand. I guess I just miss having a mother.
My mum was quite something. She was different. She always encouraged us to be different and be proud of it. She knew I was unhappy. She knew I’d be happier if I could get out of Indonesia. She told me that if I could leave Indonesia, try not go back and not to worry about her. The thing is, I know I wouldn’t be here in Canada if my mum was still alive. I used to feel guilty because I felt like I was trading her life for the life I have now. But now, I just think of it as my mum’s final gift to me. And what a gift it is.
I am happy. I love my new life. I know my mum would be happy to know that I’m happy. But I still miss her anyway…
— I received my visa extension yesterday. I’m good to stay here for another year. Yippee!
— I stayed up until 4:30 in the morning on Sunday and until 5:30 on Monday. I slept until 11:30 on Monday and until 10:00 today. Guess what? I’m sleepy still.
— We’re going to see Broken Social Scene, Bloc Party and Feist in June on Olympic Island with a couple of friends. I’m more excited about the photo ops than the concert. Too bad about the no-SLR, only point-and-shoot, under 5MP digital cameras only rule. Not that we have an over 5MP digital camera. I’m just saying.
— Troy and I went to an auction this past Friday. After checking out the auctioned goods, we decided to bid for a twin lens reflex camera. We had to wait for about 3 hours before they put the camera up for bids. Good thing we won. We also won an old, press camera like you can see in old movies for, like, one-tenth of the listed price on eBay.
— People we know keep asking us how many cameras we have. I know I shouldn’t be, but I’m always kind of embarrassed to admit that we have about 100-something cameras in our collection. It makes us sound like weirdos, which we probably are, but still…
— I keep having Pixies’ “Debaser” song stuck in my head. Argh! Don’t know about you, but I am un chien andalusia…
— Next month is our first anniversary. It feels like only yesterday that we got hitched. Time flies.
— I have four websites to design. FOUR! And I haven’t started with any. I should probably start with one that isn’t mine.
— That means I should probably stay up until morning again soon since I seem to be able to come up with a design only when it’s day-time in Indonesia. Stupid brain.
— Telling Troy some Indonesian celebrity gossips before bed has been proven to help me sleep well.
— It’s currently 22°C here in Waterloo! Holy cow! Perfect weather for playing mini golf!
— I feel like taking pictures.
— I can’t think of anything to take pictures of.
pull a Firda Idiom
Move to another country for a boy.
Just something I learned this past weekend from a couple of friends. :) I’m seriously considering writing a how-to guide on it. Heh. Well, not really.
Have I told you how much I love turkey? My dear mother-in-law cooked us a turkey for Easter, knowing that I don’t eat ham. She cooks the best turkey in the world. I’ve had some in restaurants and other people’s places but the turkey just doesn’t taste as good. And I’m happy to say that we got to bring some leftover turkey home. That means that all the Indonesian food I’m going to cook this week will have turkey in it instead of chicken. Turkey makes everything taste so much better. I had some turkey fried rice for lunch yesterday and I was in a state of euphoria afterwards. Seriously. People really should start eating turkey instead of smoking dope. I think the world would be a better place that way. Except for the poor turkeys.
I’d just like to say thank you for all the birthday wishes in comments and voicemails. That was very sweet of you. You’re the loveliest readers, ever. :) I do feel guilty for not posting earlier, but as you probably have guessed, I’ve been keeping myself occupied with all the photography stuff. It’s all so new and exciting, being able to do everything, from film developing to the post processing on the computer until the photos are ready for printing. Photo printer is the only thing missing from my so-called home photolab, but I don’t really print my works very often anyway so it’s not a big deal. Not that I’m not tempted to get myself one since they’re not really all that expensive. Let’s see if I could resist the temptation. ;)
I must admit that film developing is not really my favourite part of photography because it’s a lot of work. Imagine shaking the developing tank for 30 seconds every 30 seconds for at least 15 minutes. But once I got the developed film in hand half an hour later, it’s all worth it. I have developed two rolls so far and only today do I realise that 1:4 dilution doesn’t necessarily mean 125ml of chemical in 500ml of water. I could’ve worked with 100ml of chemical in 400ml of water. Doh! I’m a dummy.
Anyway, the photo above is my favourite photo from the second roll. If you want to see all the photos from the rolls I developed myself that I’ve uploaded to Flickr, it’s all in this photoset. As you can see, I still have a lot to learn. But I’m learning by doing so the quality should improve with time. At least I hope so.
For some reasons, the picture above was sitting at #2 on Flickr’s Interestingness thingy for April 6 last time I checked. Weird, since it’s not really my most favourite picture from the roll I shot that day. Still, it’s good to know that people like it. Anyway, since I have no picture of birthday candles, this picture of campfire will have to do it for today. :) Hell, I’m 33 today. Too old for birthday candles. *sniff*
My birthdays always make me think of my mum. I think the person who deserve all the birthday wishes and presents would be her since she did all the hard work delivering me. All I did was popping out. I just wish I’d realised that before she passed away. But I’m sure she wouldn’t mind me getting all the credits for all her hard work. :) I hope she’s celebrating it from wherever she is. But dude, if it’s your birthday, go take your mother out for dinner or something!
I don’t know if I’ve told you the story about my delivery. I was born at 00:58 in Jakarta, Indonesia. It wasn’t an easy birth. The doctor had to keep giving my mum shots that part of her thigh ended up becoming numb permanently. And sometime during the deliverance, the power went out. No electricity at the clinic. I like to think that’s how my skin got so dark. Ha! It’s also probably the reason I look pissed in all my baby photos. *grins* Yup, I was difficult to deliver and I grew up to be a difficult person. Yay! All the difficult people of the world unite and take over the world! Or something.
Oh, and Troy did be a darling and give me more presents. I woke up to find a cute, handmade birthday card he was struggling to make only last night, a large changing bag, and gift card from a photography supply store sitting on the computer chair. Yippee! Now all I have to do is buy some photo chemicals with the gift card and I’ll be able to do my own black and white film developing! So excited!
And what’s a birthday without music? I’ve uploaded a couple of happy songs from Jens Lekman called “Happy Birthday, Dear Friend Lisa” and “A Lover’s Concerto (live)” from our collection that you can download if you’re interested. And of course, you can always sing me or wish me a happy birthday with your own voice. Just click the button below. C’mon, you know you want to! ;)
I’m only posting this because, well, it’s too good not to share. If any of you are planning to travel to Asia and Australia between April 1-May 18 and haven’t purchased a ticket yet, you can fly from the U.S. to destinations in Asia and Australia for under $500! A trip to Tokyo, for example, is only $275. Fares are valid for travel originating in the U.S. only, so if you live in Canada, go across the border or something. Man, if only I wasn’t stuck in Canada and actually had the money to travel. Oh well. Someday.
I stole the link from Fodor’s Travel Wire, which I just discovered. If you’re into travelling, you might want to bookmark it or subscribe to their feed for travel tips and bargain packages. I know I have.