Those Pesky People

I had my first encounter with some of those, uh, door-to-door religion salesmen yesterday. It wasn’t pleasant because they made me angry but I managed to keep my cool and didn’t slam the door on them.

First mistake, they were insulting my intelligence by talking to me like I was an idiot *and* in an insulting tone to boot.

Second mistake, they just assumed that I was unhappy. “This will totally bring happiness into your life,” one of them said. I’ve come a long way to be this happy and they had the balls to just assume that I was unhappy, just because I didn’t believe in what they did? How dare they? They didn’t even look like a bunch of happy people to start with. I mean, if you’re trying to sell perfume, you should at least try to smell good.

I ended up being cranky all evening. Troy kept telling me that they were not worth it but they really pissed me off. Anyway, here’s some snippets from the encounter:

+ I’m sorry, I’m not into religion.
What? You don’t believe in Jesus?
+ I believe in good people.
This will totally bring happiness into your life.
+ I’m already happy. Thanks. *[close the door]*

They’d better be not coming back.

13 thoughts on “Those Pesky People

  1. I feel much better now (not alone in my thoughts) and next time when they ask me to read their brochure I can hand them a copy of this page and say only if you read this.
    btw: beautiful designed site.

  2. Good thing you’re no longer practicing, or I would have surely brought on the second coming with us together….
    I told them once I was waiting for a boyfriend to show up, and that was why I answered the door in a towel-i thought it was him at the door, and that I was preparing for the sex.

  3. I just thought up a brilliant idea! A stripper service featuring strippers dressed up as Jehovah’s Witnesses.
    When you see them at the door, you start thinking “Oh great, not again,” but when you answer the door, they say “Are you religious? The lord makes me really hot.” Then they come in and rub their bible all over themselves and do a little striptease.

  4. Sorry the bozos got to ya. They bug me too.
    I live in a Canadian equivalent of Salt Lake City – we’re actually almost a straight line north above it. *shudder* My dog thinks they’re evil. LOL He goes absolutely bezerk, and doesn’t calm down until after they are long gone.
    Sometimes its great to sit in the living room, barely pretending to not be there. Then, they know you’re there, but pretending to not be, so they knock more or ring the doorbell more. While they’re standing on my doorstep at least they’re not bugging someone else.
    Seriously, just don’t be polite: “Not interested, good bye” -close door- Then they can feel holy and you can feel sane. ;p Or better yet: “I don’t want to be happy. Now bug off, sunshine.”

  5. I hate any type of soliciting, phone or door to door. The religion one really irks me though – something about “selling” God you know? I am not at all “religious”, I am spiritual, I believe in what I believe.

  6. While I am a Christian I can’t say that I like getting those sorts of people at my door. I personally just let the dogs bark at them until they leave.
    They keep trying to convert you to their way of thinking anyway, even if your a minister like my Grandfather!!!
    Course there may be people who aren’t like that when they come to your door…but they haven’t come to mine yet.

  7. I had a gaggle of these that came to my house once. I have three dogs, so I stepped outside to talk to them, rather than try to yell “Get the hellaouttahere!” over my dog’s barking. Plus, I have an aunt who is a Jehovah’s Witness, so I feel obligated to listen to them. Plus, I’m afraid they’ll report me to her.
    So they said, after their little spiel, “May we pray with you?”
    I said, “Oh, you’re not going to read to me out of that bible, are you?”
    They gave me some line about the words of Jesus, yadda yadda. I was weak, so I just stayed silent while they read.
    Then I said, “The thing is, I believe that the bible is a masterful work. Of fiction. It’s got a few good story lines, but…”
    They tried to interrupt me. Then I got mad. I said, “You know what? My aunt is a witness. And because of that, I haven’t seen her for many years, and I miss her. So don’t stand there and tell me this is a good idea. And you know what else? Her son runs the witness church out in Romeoville. If anyone’s gonna convert me, it’ll be him, okay? goodbye.”
    They kept trying to talk as I backed into my house and shut the door in their faces.
    A couple months later, they came back, accompanied by someone who looked much more pushy than they were. A “closer” if you will.
    I opened the door and said, “You gotta be kidding me.” Then I slammed it. They stood around on the porch for a while, while I sat at my dining room table staring at them. When I picked up the phone and mouthed the word, “Police” and pointed at the phone, they finally left.
    Annoying. Sorry for the long comment. They get me riled up too. The assumption that their way is the only way to be happy. What they’re trying to tell you is that you only THINK you’re happy. You’re not happy the right way.
    BTW, your page design is beautiful.

  8. hm, i understand why they pissed you off. well, at least they don’t go out killing people or condemning those who don’t share their belief hehehe…
    you used to work for the library of congress? cool! when was it? i happen to live in washington d.c. at the moment.
    anyway, thanks for dropping by at my blog… and more thanks for bothering to leave a comment hehehhee…

  9. If it’s any conselation, and I know to many it won’t be, a large percentage of thoe pesky people are out there doing it because they genuinely believe in what they are doing. They genuinely belive that they are going to save your life by bringing you their truth.
    Yes, it can be annoying at times, and inconvenient. However, I find it hard to fault with someone for trying to do what they beleive will give me a great deal of happiness and a good life. Even if it is a misguided attempt, the world as a whole may just need a little more of what they have. Good intentions, the drive to at least try and make life better for perfect strangers.
    Though maybe my perceptions are skewed, I was raised as one of those ‘pesky people’, though I no longer practice.

  10. I ask them to come inside. For this is the house of satan. Then I start speaking in tongue.
    Maybe that’s why I don’t know my neighbors very well…

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